Category Archives: family

stand still

One of the things I worry most about is whether or not I’m doing the best I can do to teach my kids to know God and to grow into amazing human beings. God’s entrusted me to provide them the foundation on which they’ll stand. Right now, I’m the spiritual leader in the house and it’s a bit of a difficult thing. But I trust that God is up to something and that I just need to do what He’s asked me to do.

I picked up The One Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Family Devotions from my church’s bookstore a few months ago and we’ve been reading from it every evening. I love this book for my kids (ages 4-9) because it not only allows us to hear a story about the topic, but also provides discussion questions along with a short prayer. Last night we talked about accepting the truth and asking forgiveness for our wrongs. What a proud moment it was to hear my kids ask forgiveness without any real prompting from me.

This morning, as we sat outside on the porch enjoying the unexpected cool air and breeze, Andre told me that he’d wished that his daddy didn’t have to work nights today so he could come outside with us. I asked him if he wanted that so that Daddy would come out and play with him. My sweet Andre said, “No, I just wish he could come out and enjoy the weather with us because it’s so beautiful”.  Another proud moment. I thought selfish thoughts, but my Andre thought giving thoughts.

My sweet sister, Michele, sent the kids a back to school card with some money. We finally went to Target last night after church so that the kids could spend it. This morning, during our quiet time and before the boys were allowed to go play, I asked them to write a Thank You card to Aunt Shelly. Darius’ closed his note with,”I’m thankful and I bless you.”

I loved this passage from Exodus that I read yesterday. Pharoah had finally agreed, after all of the plagues, to let Moses lead the Israelites to the wilderness to worship the Lord. But then, he changed his mind and decided to rally his army to go after them. The Israelites became frustrated with Moses and asked him, “Why have you brought us out here to die?” and “Let us be! We’d rather be slaves than die in the wilderness!”. And then Moses said, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord save you today…The Lord will fight for you today. Just stay calm”. (This can be found in Exodus 14)

Earlier this week, I was reminded (probably for the hundredth time) to Be Still and know He is God. But for some reason, this verse above just stopped me in my tracks. TODAY. Stand still and He will save me today. He’s on my side. Just live in today.

Today, my kids have been grateful, today they have been giving, today we worship and praise God for this life He’s given us. Today, I’m feeling affirmation that I am doing the best I can do to raise these kids. I am practicing my listening skills, waiting for His guidance.

Gifts 54-64

bike rides

Autumn teases

new music arrangements of old songs

a bouquet of unexpected flowers

conversations with friends not seen in a long time

butterfly kisses from 4 year olds

sweaty hugs from 9 year olds

toothless grins from 6 year olds

girls night at the gun range

First Thursdays

parents who introduced me to God

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listening to: Our God | Chris Tomlin

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Falling out and Falling in

Last week, I took the kids up to see my friend in Dallas. It was the first time I’d parented them by myself without a break from the husband for a period longer than 2 days. By day 3, it was all I could do to keep myself  from going crazy. The funny thing is, my kids are good and well-behaved. They rarely act out and we are pretty strict in our home. But we were in a new place, around another family for a long period of time.  I was tired, I had a 4 year old sleeping with me (something none of the kids have ever done). I found myself  losing patience with them more and more and the smallest things began to irritate me and make me think they were acting out. The fact is, they weren’t. I was. I was the one who needed a talking to. I needed to be reminded that they are 8 and 6 and 4. That they were excited about being around their friends and that they were getting to do new and fun things. I grew impatient. Last night as we settled back into our routine at home, we read our nightly story, read a passage from the Bible and prayed. I openly expressed my sadness and seeked forgiveness for losing it with them. And today is a new day. Today we are home and doing laundry and cleaning house. Today we are playing with old friends and running around outside. Today is a day to start anew and try to do better.

This seeking forgiveness thing is new. I’ve never put much importance on it, I think because I just know that God will forgive me. But part of the growing into Him is allowing myself to see where I need Him to work in me. It’s hard to admit where you’re wrong. But the more I seek Him, the more it’s almost as if I want to admit the wrongs so that I can do His will. One of my new favorite songs (though it’s a few years old) is “Hallowed Father” by Jeremy Riddle. It’s such a beautifully orchestrated prayer. It seems to say all the things I need to say to God. The chorus:

Father, hallowed be Your name
May Your rule and reign
Take over me
For I, long just to please You
To live my life for You
To do as You will.

I have found myself falling out of love with more worldly things, recently. I don’t need to have to be this or buy that or do this in order to feel fulfilled. And while that’s happening, I am finding that I am falling more in love with relationship with Jesus. This, too, is something new. I mean, I’ve been wanting to know Him more, to be more Christ-like. I just didn’t know that it would hit me like this. While in Dallas, away from our routine and busy and going-going-going, I found it so hard to spend time alone with God, and I missed that so much.
We visited the Dallas World Aquarim one day. Even though it was our first visit there, I looked at it with new eyes. I’ve been to zoos, I have seen aquariums before. But I never fully appreciated it like I did on this trip. I don’t know how many species of animals and birds and fish and plants there were. I don’t know how many different types of these that I saw. But I was fascinated. That God created each and every one of these things, some small, some large, some toothy, some slimy. All beautiful in their own way. How much incredible knowledge and skill does it take to make each one of these? How much creativity does one have to have to create these amazing creatures? I walked around this 3 story warehouse-turned-rainforest in complete awe of these wonderful things that were created, not only for Him, but for us, too. What wonderful gifts. I mean, He could have stopped with day 4, but He went on to do more with days 5 and 6.
Here are a few snaps of His creations…my little point and shoot doesn’t do it justice!
Gifts #11 – 30
Beautiful skies
wide open spaces
speaker phone conversation with the kids
mommy and daddy time
lessons learned
clarity
pool time
today
rain
Your message – clear as day
church campfires
kids who love worshipping -even at 10:30 pm in the middle of a field
Your faithfulness
new friendships
summer nights
birthdays
quiet
warmth- from the sun and from hugs
fresh peaches and jam
beautiful creatures
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a much needed vacation

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking.  ~Earl Wilson

We’re headed into the Great Southwest. We’re tracking across 1800 miles of land in one day. We’re dropping the kids off and then headed to Vegas two days later. We’re going to be alone. ALONE. With all the hustle and bustle of life, The Husband and I haven’t been alone- really alone – in over 9 years. 9 years.

I’m leaving my camera behind (but I did pick up a pretty awesome point and shoot today!) and focusing on one important thing: freedom. Freedom from the kids, freedom from work, freedom from worry.

Most importantly, I am concentrating on the freedom to just be.

 Gifts #s 01-10:

children who love God and love to learn about Him

a church family who loves us and is for us

our home

unexpected interruptions

cool breezes on hot summer nights

sweet babies coming up to cuddle

love texts

wishing flowers

long drives on open roads forcing us to connect

wise friends with big hearts

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dear dad

You’ve worked so hard all of your life for our family. As a parent now, I know there were times when it was tough and when you probably felt a little helpless in one situation or another. You worked hard and you worked a lot to provide for us. During overhaul season, we’d rarely see you unless we happened to get up super early in the morning. I don’t know if I have ever thanked you for that. For the sacrifices you made to provide us a comfortable living, for the things that you missed so that we could have that new pair of shoes. Thanks, dad.

Growing up, some of my happiest memories with you are the ones that were simple. Going out to the lake and playing on the beach, driving out to Colorado and seeing the beautiful mountains. When we got to be teenagers life got to be busy and the fun and simple times grew less and less. But I knew I could always count on you. Whether it was me needing math homework help or needing help getting out of punishment from mom. I never felt your absence. When it counted, you were always there.

And I want you to know , dad, that you did an amazing job. You, with help from mom, have raised 3 wonderful daughters who are out there contributing to the world. God gave us you as our father so that we can learn and grow and become who we are today. God knew exactly what He was doing when he placed us in your care. Yeah things were surely confusing and sometimes you didn’t know how to handle certain things (it’s okay, I know I was a bit unmanageable), but God knew that you could do it.

I want to thank you and mom for never giving up on me. For believing that I could get through those dirty years that I had. For seeing me through. Thank you for being wonderful grandparents to my babies and thank you for loving them and caring for them with all your heart. It warms my spirit to know that they think so much of you and look forward to spending their summer days with you. Thank you thank you thank you.

Edit:

This morning at church, Pastor Mark talked about fatherhood and principles that make great fathers and mothers. One that stuck out to me was this:

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Mark went on to tell us that most pastors and churches these days talk about this verse and mean that if we raise our kids with biblical and Godly values, that they’ll come back to it later in life if they’re ever led astray. But then he went on to interpret it from the Hebrew translation. To sum it up, “the way he should go” means the way God meant him to be.

You always did allow me to be who I was, even when you saw heartbreak in my future, even when I made the wrong choices. As a mother, I know it’s going to be hard if one of my children are even half as, well…creative as I was. But you allowed me to hurt and you allowed me to learn and you allowed me to go the way I should go.  The amazing thing is this:  I’m right where God wants me to be, with Him.

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8 days left

I can’t believe there are only 8 days left in 2009. This year went by so fast. I never imagined that time would pass so fast when you get older. But it does. This year was a learning year for me. An amazing one. I’ve grown relationships with amazing new friends. I’ve been challenged far more than ever before. I’ve watched my children grow another year older and all the wonder that ecompasses that. There have been good times and bad times. And with all this, I finally feel like I “get it”. I understand what I am supposed to be doing.

Yesterday was Andre’s birthday. I sat for a moment and just looked at him. How could this be? How can he be six? Wasn’t he just born? Didn’t I just bring him home? Now he’s a big boy. He’s so expressive and so happy. He’s kind-hearted and caring (He gave me a gift last night. He got a few of his favorite books and put them in a gift bag for me). And he’s completely different than his brother and sister.

We decided this year that we weren’t going to have big birthday parties or a big Christmas. It’s been such a challenge to teach my children grace, humility, understanding…Especially after years of indulging them. It was my fault. I wanted them to have everything. But where I went wrong was that “everything” can’t be found in toys, games, and items that can be bought. Everything can only be found in Him. And so we spent Andre’s birthday as a family. We went to breakfast at his favorite breakfast place (IHOP), then we followed that with a free game of put-put at one of the county parks (where I was able to enjoy photographing some nature). We came home and gave him his one gift (a bike ramp he’d written on his list to Santa) and he and his older brother spent the afternoon playing on that. I asked him at the end of the day if he had fun, and he wrapped his arms around me and said that it was awesome. Afterall, what they really want is us, and spending their time with us.

[svgallery name="andre"]

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